Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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