My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
