2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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