elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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