You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize