I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
