when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
