he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize