he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
