sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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