does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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