He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
