I wannas sexs uuuuu
I bet he comes in French.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
