just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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