the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
