So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize