i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
