I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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