I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
