Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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