I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
