Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
