Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
