Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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