every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
