I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
