You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
