i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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