you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
