Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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