hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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