Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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