Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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