I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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