Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
