When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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