Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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