32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
