So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
worst night to have a conscience
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
