belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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