I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
