benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
