TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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