My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
