ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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