I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
