maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
