either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
