Where is the hickey?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
