is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
