It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize