She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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