She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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