She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
