Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
