Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
