Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
