i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
