We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
