She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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