We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
